


That's what Regular Human Bartenders are for

by poppy_plant



Series: What We Create in October 2020 [28]
Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Advice, Drinking, Gen, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Relationship Advice, What We Create In October Challenge, bartending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:27:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27584741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poppy_plant/pseuds/poppy_plant
Summary: Laszlo gets Guillermo drunk and gives him some solid advice.
Series: What We Create in October 2020 [28]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948720
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	That's what Regular Human Bartenders are for

**Author's Note:**

> Day 28: Regular Human Drink

“Ah,” Laszlo sighed. “This was quite the showstopper for Jackie Daytona!” he cried out dramatically for his audience. “Then again, it was always a good time when I was around.” Laszlo tossed a series of delicate china into the air, each piece carefully caught and positioned with viper-like reflexes, a playful smile painted across his face.

He had been home for months now, but had opted to break out the old blue jeans and toothpick to have a bit of fun with the bar, kept fully stocked in a room in the back of the house. Much like his topiaries, there seemed to be something calming for Laszlo in concocting complex and disgustingly named drinks in his spare time.

Unfortunately, for the only human in the house, Laszlo, or ‘Jackie’ as he liked to be called in here, needed a test subject for his strange, but undeniably delicious elixirs.

To the surprise of them both, Laszlo and Guillermo and struck up a sort of odd friendship after the events in the theatre, with Laszlo seeing Guillermo in a new light. It was odd he hadn’t really thought too much of familiars seeing as they always seemed to come and go so fast, but Guillermo was not the same wide-eyed child who had come to live with them nearly twelve years ago. 

Guillermo sat at one of four barstools, resting his chin in his hand as he watched Laszlo dramatically twirl three bottles of tequila above his head, cheering himself on.

Adding the finishing touches of a sprig of mint and a cherry on top, Laszlo slid the drink to an unenthused Guillermo, who immediately took a large swig, hardly tasting the elixir before sinking back into his brooding. 

“Now I don’t know what has got you all down, and I don’t care” Laszlo sighed, tossing a towel over his shoulder, “But you need to get it together, little man. The sad stink coming off of you is really killing my vibes.” 

Guillermo shook himself as if suddenly remembering where he was.

  
“Sorry, Laszlo.” He took an experimental sip of the drink, really trying to focus on the tastes. It kinda just tasted like alcohol.

“Yeah, it’s good.” Guillermo kept sipping on his fourth drin- fifth drink of the night.

Laszlo frowned, watching over the human as he started solemnly into his drink, sipping through the tiny mixer straw in it. _Little chap must really be going through it._

Groaning impatient with his single patron’s wallowing, Laszlo pulled the drink away, Guillermo only offering a weak protest, brows furrowed as he glared the vampire down.

“Gizmo… I don’t know what has got you so… down.” Laszlo tried to set aside his frustration with the human. He couldn’t help that his weak little human body made him this way. Plus he was such a mood - killer like this. “But you need to get over it.” 

Guillermo looked up, glaring intensely at him.  
  


“I watched you slay an entire fucking room of vampires, I cannot imagine what has a slayer like you this upset.”

Guillermo just scoffed at him, the alcohol mixing with his general exhaustion and making his head spin.   
  


“What do you know?” he spat, crossing his arms, reminding the vampire of a petulant child. “Why do you even care?”   
  


“I don’t.” 

“Then why are you asking?”

“I’m not.”  
  


“Yes, you are!” 

“Fine, don’t say anything. I can guess anyway.” Laszlo scoffed, turning to wash out one of the many glasses that had begun piling up.

Guillermo just rolled his eyes. Laszlo couldn’t help but smirk. Gizmo got a bit of an attitude when he was drunk.

“I’ll bet you it was something Nandor said, yes?” Laszlo suggested, turning to gauge Guillermo’s reaction.

  
The man bristled, still glaring daggers at Laszlo, but not disagreeing.   
  


“But what did he say this time? It must have been quite scandalous, seeing as you’ve been dealing with his tantrums for so long,” Laszlo turned, leaning down on the bar. “Did you finally confess your feelings to him? Did he reject you?”   
  


Guillermo huffed, turning away. Lips tightly shut.

After a time he spoke. “No, it’s just-” Guillermo sighed deeply. “I thought after his confession at the theatre, you know, before I saved you guys, that he might finally be ready for more, but he just pretends it never happened.”

Guillermo hesitated, looking to Laszlo for reassurance. “I just don’t know what to think.”  
  


“Then stop thinking so much,” he said plainly, returning to tidying the bar. This was a much easier fix than he first thought. “You see, the thing is, you think too damn much, and that master of yours, he doesn’t think enough.”  
  


“Now,” he dramatically leaned across the bar, stage-whispering to the human “All you need to do, is get your ass over to him,” Laszlo flourished a hand. “And speak your mind.”

“But-”  
  


“No buts about it. Listen, Nandor doesn’t have a fucking clue what anyone, least of all you are thinking. Just go to him and tell him what you want. Trust me,” He smiled salaciously, “We know eachother very well if you get what I’m saying, and you’re just going to have to say it to him.”

Guillermo shuddered, nodding. Suddenly he stood, sending the stool back with a harsh scrape.

  
“Yeah, I’m gonna go now.” He said head lifted high, turning to leave.

  
“Oh no, you don’t!” Laszlo reached over the bar, grabbing him by the back collar of his sweater, causing Guillermo to stumble feebly back into the bar. “Wait until you’re sober, man.”

“... yeah you’re right.”  
  


“Now, when you’re in a better mood, and you have yourself a nice new stupid vampire lover, come back here and Jackie will fix you up a drink. On the house.” Laszlo smiled, earning a chuckle from Guillermo.

  
“Sure thing.” With that, Guillermo headed for the door. 

  
“Oh, Laszlo?” he paused in the doorway, looking back. “Thanks.” With that, he quickly retreated down the hall.   
  


“You’re quite welcome, Gizmo,” Laszlo muttered under his breath. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!


End file.
